Monday, January 27, 2014

Back in the Saddle

I need to acknowledge all of you who commented on my last post (and emailed me) because you, my friends, don't pass off platitudes as caring - you really DO care. If you haven't read those comments please do. I felt such genuine kindness and support and it makes a big difference in my day. I wanted to share Louise's comment because it really helped put perspective on things - while the breakup came as a total shock to me it wasn't such a shock to Michael as he had  already done the thinking about it and the planning and had processed it whereas I was at square one - total bewilderment, loss, heartbreak and grief. And now throw in some anger. 
Here's her comment:
((hugs)) jane. I used to work as a marriage counsellor and we know that the person who initiates the breakup copes better because they have already been through the doubts, anxieties, fears and grief as part of coming to their decision. So by the time they announce it they are already well down the track to adjusting to the change
The person who doesn't initiate the breakup usually had no idea it was coming. It hits like a bolt out of the blue and suddenly their world has changed with no chance to prepare. So for them the grief, anxieties and fears then begin and they are at a totally different stage to the other person.
It's a roller coaster for a while. Just do whatever you need to do to get through each day ((hugs))
Thanks Louise - that helps and so did all of your comments. (*Judy for some reason my reply to your comment just keeps spinning - not sure why?)
So did I start putting one foot in front of the other after writing that post? Yes, I did. I put on some music and did some more painting in the kitchen - trim, pantry door, above the cupboards AND the ceiling!  Now I have some physical aches and pains to divert me from my mental aches and pains. The I baked a huge tray full of seasoned french fries - potatoes, sweet potato, turnip and carrots. I also baked a tray full of tilapia fillets so had my own weird version of "fish and chips" for dinner. 
I made lots of juice and also some refrigerator oatmeal. Go here for some awesome "cold oatmeal" recipes that are SOOOOO delicious!
On Saturday night I picked up a friend and we went to another friend's house. We played a game called "Cards against Humanity"  which is not a game for the faint of heart!! I thought I was going to die laughing!! You have to check it out!!  Totally politically incorrect but SOOO funny! That of course made my good endorphins flow like crazy :) Just what I needed. 
This morning Kazi and I "face timed" with each other which is an iPhone way to talk (and see) each other for FREE! She told me all about her weekend trip to Sydney and I showed her all of the snow that she's missing and also our very old kitty. We're going to do that again tonight so she can "show me around" the area she's staying at on the Gold Coast.
I thought we were going to have a snow day today because I awoke to another foot of snow and the roads were an absolute MESS!  The powers that be decided to cancel ALL of the school buses but keep the schools open!?!  Today was an exam day and they postponed the exam until tomorrow. I had 1 parent call me and she drove her son into school. So there was me and 6 EAs all fighting over 1 student lol! He was very popular!! Now I'm home and will be tackling my school work again once I finish eating my lunch. I just didn't want to wait too long to thank you all! 


  1. I missed that post, but HUGS to you! Yes, I cannot imagine what you've gone through, seeing as how I haven't even considered getting a partner-- once I do/if I do find one, losing them would be very hard. But you're a true trooper and an inspiration, so go at it! Seasoned fries sound yummy! We should get you some MD Old Bay. Best seasoning ever. Sweet potato fries are my most favorite thing, especially with hamburger patties (no bun or topping) and some steamed veggies. Total comfort food. Oops, talking too much about food, sorry! I feel for that poor child. I think I was *that* kid once, as my parents "released me" to take the bus too late, so I missed the bus (or thought I did), and ended up going to school in a taxi (we didn't have a car), and it wasn't until I got to school that I learned that classes were cancelled for the kids... the teachers had me do random things and then released me to go home.

  2. I didn't read many blogs this past weekend as I was in Downton Abbey.lolz
    But really, when going through a breakup of a longstanding relationship, it's just like someone dying, so you do go through those dreaded 5 stages of grief then too. Take things one day at a time is great advise and ride that rollercoaster out.
    If I was closer I'd come help you paint and put the condo back together....not very WELL mind you, but I'd try. ;-)
    Louise there is a very wise soul......

  3. Don't worry about your response's like you and me..going round, round baby round round....but it never falls and it keeps moving. Ill take spinning around with you any day of the week!

  4. glad you're feeling a bit better :) It's great that Kazi went to Sydney for Australia Day! I hope she got down to the harbour and saw the opera house, how is she coping with the weather?

  5. Amy at love made my homeJanuary 27, 2014 at 5:23 PM

    Hello Jane, I am new to your blog and have not left a comment before, but having read your last post and this one, although I don't know the full story, I just wanted to say hold on in there. As one who has been through a marriage breakdown, divorce and remarriage, I can assure you that although it is grotty and grim now it will get better, it does take time, but it will improve.
    I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this, it is so hard when you are in the situation that it sounds as though you are in right now. Anyway, please hang on in there and keep your friends around you and know that blogland is a great place and I am sure that you will find lots of support and help as and when you need it.
    Take care of yourself right now. xx

  6. glad everyone's comments were a big help. Onwards and upwards......

  7. school district board must have been the only one not to close or cancel school buses!! I agree with Gill...onwards and upwards!! Much love and hope and happiness to you xxxx

  8. Thanks Holly - some days I feel so low there is no where to go but up!

  9. Blogland is an amazing place - everyone I meet, including you, makes it a very welcoming and supportive place. Thank you Amy.

  10. Yes, she saw the Opera house and lots of other places. The weather hasn't been terribly hot - she said it was cooler in Sydney.

  11. Oh Jane...I really do think of you and wish the best for you x

  12. Oh Judy you make me laugh, and we all know laughter is the best medicine - thank you!

  13. Thanks for the offer sluggy - it's kind of good that I have a "project" to take my mind off things but does it have to be such a BIG project??

  14. Thanks Tanner - I have one of those stories too - as a townie I walked to school on a snow day once. I messed around on the trampoline and fell off hurting my back! Long years of chiropractic care after that silliness!

  15. Thanks Kim, keeping busy is pretty easy these days and I know enough that when I feel really down it's time to get busy!


Thank you for your comment - it means a lot to me that you read my post and are leaving a comment - you just made my day!