Crofters Lane

Yesterday I actually went to two stores - that's the most shopping I've done since before Christmas! I've been saving every penny nickel I can for retirement. The only money I spend is for gas, groceries or home improvements. (Oh, and the odd dinner out with friends :)

I was in search for some sort of shelf to hang above the upstairs toilet as I had removed a large converted book shelf from that spot because the new toilets I had installed were a different shape and the bottom shelf was too low which prevented the toilet lid from sitting in the raised position - it would bump into the lowest shelf.

I went to Winner's where I found a roll of adhesive-backed drawer and shelf paper on sale for $4.00 - score! and then I came across some decorative free-standing letters so without really thinking about it I bought these:

                     Now...what do you suppose C L stands for? Hint - check post title!  

Yes, the die seems to be cast!  Then I received the most amazing comment from a long-time reader who hadn't commented before:

"Hello Jane,

I've never left a comment on your blog before but I've been following it on-and-off for several years. I found you from some sort of PEI search way back. I'm a PEI wannabe and my husband and I plan to move to PEI at some point and bought some land there in 2003 and then a small cabin on 55 acres of wood in 2009. We are presently living in Calgary. I long for a few good hens and some shell picking on the strand.

I was sorry to recently read about your break with Michael and my heart goes out to you. I've been through this in the past and it's very painful indeed. You seem to be such an upbeat and solid person so I wanted to encourage you, if I can.

I know it's been your dream to move to PEI but you may be feeling derailed at this point. It's a different lifestyle but one where you can take a step back, several deep breaths of fresh sea air, and hear yourself think, without the constant din of the city. We're so often surrounded with nonstop noise that it's hard to do this. It's easier to do it in PEI.

In 2011 I went out there by myself and stayed for about 7 weeks. I'm no stranger to living alone and only got married when I was 32, so I thought I could tough it out in this little cabin where spiders, snakes, and I cohabited. Good thing I like them, not in a creepy sort of way, but in a beneficial gardener type of way. This little cabin gave me its share of things going bump in the night, creaks, scratches, and the like but I felt stronger after having done it. I shipped my truck out from Alberta and organized a bunch of renovations on the place and all went well. It was satisfying. I do remember calling my hubby in late May and saying I didn't think I was going to make it because the blasted place didn't yet have heat and the fireplace was only good for filling up the cabin with smoke. One night I woke with a jump thinking I was surrounded by cop cars with flashing lights. A firefly had landed on my window sill. Seems he had been mating with the flicker of my cell phone email alert. Way too long living in the city.

Except for the confounded bugs, which I'm spoiled to say we don't have here, PEI is a magical place. But, you already know this. I just wanted to encourage you and say that you can do this. You can keep your dream alive and give it a try. If you decide otherwise along the way, at least you will know and not be wondering if it was what you needed to do. I do recommend a good dog. Nothing beats them for quality company. They are good listeners too.

I've read several wonderful books about women starting over by the sea (one is by a lake). Very refreshing. Here's the list. I think you will enjoy them.

A Year by the Sea, Joan Anderson
Still Life with Chickens, Catherine Goldhammer
The Feast Nearby, Robin Mather

Thanks for sharing your heart with us. You're a special person and you'll find your way."

Thank you - your comment made me laugh and cry at the same time. My heart is in PEI and I long constantly for that slower pace where my thoughts don't have to compete with the sound of sirens, transport trucks and trains. Where there is plenty of "scope for the imagination." I've never been a city girl though I've had to work and live in a city for 33 years. I want to spend my days writing, reading, gardening, fulfilling the creative side of me while walking through my forest and cycling to the gorgeous and peaceful beaches. I'm not a fan of crowds and in PEI I'm close enough to several villages where there are wonderful people to socialize with when I'm in the mood and I can kick back on my land when I want to be alone. 

I want to thank you once again dear reader - your comment has really hit home. I'm going to go now to look up the books you've listed for me. If there was ever a woman who could make it on her own it's me!  Thank you for your encouragement, and oh yes, I was planning to get a dog :)

I have to say, and this is hard to say, that since the breakup I've been thinking "why bother moving, why bother fulfilling my dream if I have to do it alone?"  Well, guess what? I'm worth it. I'm going to do this FOR ME! Enough of the self-doubt, enough of putting myself last, enough of thinking it's not worth it if it's just for me! 

I AM WORTH IT!