Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Casablanca

OK, my post title is apropos of nothing - I just looked at my news feed and saw I had a visitor from Casablanca! Makes me feel like Ingrid Bergman! Well, not really, but it's still pretty cool right?

oooooh! I'd definitely go there...if one of my goals was to travel, that is!

That Sonya! She wants to know what my goals are...how did she put it.....?

"So, what are your next plans? You haven't posted about that for awhile. Any new goals? Spill, woman!"

Subtle isn't she? 

I have to hand it to her though because I've done little else but think about the future since she wrote that comment! You know, I never was much of a "fence sitter" before...I always had a firm opinion or idea about who I was, what I wanted, and a plan for how I was going to get there. Like a friend once said to me years ago - "you'll be sitting in your coffin six months before you die!" Cheery, no?  But the point being that I always plan ahead! 

But I'm wavering back and forth about my future, kind of straddling that old fence wondering which side to climb down on. Friends tell me to "fulfill my dreams!" Family tell me to "go for it"! I think the only thing holding me back from embracing my future at Crofters Lane in PEI is myself - I've lost confidence in myself. 


I will admit my heart is there. I have friends there, I have family there. I do feel hesitant about moving away from Kazi though.  Since my breakup I want to latch on to her and never let her go. It's been a good experience for me (and her) her spending this past month in Australia. Even though she's FAR AWAY we've kept in touch through Facetime, texting, facebook and Snapchat. All free. And while I've missed her I've also relished the time alone. And I haven't missed her terribly! Just the right amount. I'll be thrilled to see her but a wee part of me doesn't look forward to the mess and sharing the bathroom...


But I digress...as the title of one of my favorite books goes "I Know This Much is True":


  • I will sell the condo when it's ready, when I'm ready and when Kazi is ready. I probably won't put it up for sale for another year. I am getting things done but very slowly. And I want to see Kazi with a full-time job and a place of her own first. AND I'm going to see how it feels living at Crofters Lane on my own (with a fall-back plan if I need it.)
  • I will retire in 137 days. Sometime around the end of June I will pack up Dougie the Dodge and head east. My friend Julie said she'll come with me and stay as long as I need her to. Isn't she wonderful? She said I shouldn't go there alone the first time back. This won't be a full move - it'll be a visit. But it will be as long as I want it to be and there will be no anxiety come August 1st about getting home to get my classroom ready! No, I can stay on in September, October, maybe even til Christmas depending on how it goes.
  • I'm considering buying a trailer (not immediately) IF I decide to have a place around here to come back to in the winter or anytime during the year when I'd like to come to London to visit family and friends. I LOVED MY TRAILER IN BAYFIELD but it wasn't a winterized trailer. That's not a definite plan but more of a possibility. 
  • I will travel. Do you remember how I "biked" around to visit some of you a couple of winters ago? I would LOVE to do that but not on a bicycle lol - I could probably do it but it would take me several years to visit you all and pedaling across the Atlantic would be more of a challenge than I could handle! I have quite a list of other places I want to go to - Denmark, Greenland, Norway, the UK, Australia, Rock of Gibraltor (an ancestor was posted there) etc - I'm really drawn to the north. 
  • I will renew my membership to ancestry.ca.  I gave that up the last few years because it meant spending long hours online and didn't work too well within the relationship so I look forward to expanding my family tree once again. My mother left me with piles of binders full of materials she had gathered over her many years spent on genealogical research and I got the bug after she passed away and it is still something I really feel compelled to do. 
How's that Sonya? 

Please, all of you, feel free to give me input. Am I forgetting anything?

Thanks Sonya, for giving me a "little" push - I needed that!

So what are your next plans? You haven't posted about that for a while. Any new goals? Spill, woman!
So what are your next plans? You haven't posted about that for a while. Any new goals? Spill, woman!

17 comments:

  1. livingrichonthehceapFebruary 12, 2014 at 7:41 PM

    That Sonya! I like all of your goals. No firm decisions have to be made but at least you have direction (and we all know you are allowed to change your mind on any of it any time)

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  2. Good for you !
    I like your thinking on Crofters Lane. Stay as long as you like.
    You really haven t lost your confidence, just your direction.

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  3. Spend your time here there and everywhere. Just "follow your feet" (and your heart) and it will come to you.

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  4. So... if you're not biking across the Atlantic, are you going Google on it and kayaking? (you know how Google driving directions instruct users to kayak around huge bodies of water, because flying is just not as cool). Upward and onward! I think that having friend support when you retire and no pressure to find a definite place to move should be an awesome help!

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  5. Sounds like your reasoning is .... well, sound. One possibility, that you may or may not have thought of, is Kazi might end up getting a job near your condo. In that case, why couldn't she rent your condo? That way, you'd still own the condo while you test the waters, so to speak, of living in PEI on your own. Just a thought.

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  6. Sounds like a perfect plan. Play it by ear. Give yourself room to change your mind. Life is about possibilities, and yours is about to open up to many! AND, when you decide to travel, my house is WIDE open for a visit! :)!

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  7. Sounds like some great plans.

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  8. Thanks Marjorie - we'll see how it goes!

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  9. I'll make sure to include you on my itinerary Sharon!!

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  10. I did offer that idea to her once and at that point she thought she'd rather live close to downtown but she's changed her views on a number of things and that might now be an option. I'll let you know.

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  11. Well Tanner I do want to learn to kayak but I think I'll start off on a small pond not the "big pond"!!

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  12. I think you're right Kim - it will work itself out. I'll just keep my heart open to the many options open to me.

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  13. You are a wise soul Barb! I like the way you put it, I feel stronger just looking at it in that way. Thank you :)

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  14. That's one advantage to being on my own - I CAN change my mind whenever I like and who's going to argue with me??

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  15. the witch witchisland blogspotFebruary 14, 2014 at 7:18 AM

    Sounds as if you have all your ducks in a row, now to get them to all swim in the direction you want them to go or don't want them to go.
    You have so many fun challenges ahead of you that you have to think of this all like a great adventure. Maybe you first Christmas in Crofter's lane with the snow falling nicely and you all warm,reading a book with a nice glass of wine and Kazi cooking the turkey diner.
    I think your retirement is going to be wonderful and your confidence is just hiding a bit because you were blindsided and hurt. You are a strong woman and it shows by how much you have done already to put yourself back together and start to enjoy life again.

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  16. That's a very tempting portrait you've painted there! It might be a bit of a stretch for Kazi to cook a turkey but hey, she's gotta start sometime right? Thanks, I feel very supported by your comments!

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  17. 137 days may sound long to some, but as a teacher myself, I know how fast it goes. I think the best thing about teaching is we always have a chance to start over, regroup, rest, think, drink over the summer. I think your taking it slow is a good choice - a friend of mine told me to take three years after a major split to make any rash decisions. You've got a double whammy - a split and retirement. Take it slow, and do what feels right. You'll know when that is. :)

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Thank you for your comment - it means a lot to me that you read my post and are leaving a comment - you just made my day!