Today I am exhaling...trying to let go of all of the toxins in my body...especially my neck which feels like it's in a vice right now, even after taking a bunch of ibuprofin. I've been holding my breath for about a week now. Last week I got the nastiest email ever from a parent. It really threw me for a loop because only six days earlier she had sent me a very nice email. I had sent her an update on her son along with my new email address because I was told by staff at the group home where this boy lives that his mom had tried to reach me. Realizing that she might not have my new email addy I sent it to her. No problems, all is well, she's happy with how he's doing, yadda yadda yadda.
Today I get another email which this time is friendly and warm in tone. WTF??? I could barely sleep all weekend and kept waking up filled with anxiety. How could anyone feel their son was not well cared for in my program?!? I took her criticism very personally and felt attacked...and slandered. So with this new email I was literally turned on my head. What gives? So later today I showed it to my Dep't Head - who says to me...."I thought you knew...sorry I should have mentioned this to you before but I thought you knew!" Turns out she's bi-polar; last week was a manic phase.
I guess my email caught her at a bad time and I became the object of her attack. Apparently she has done this many times in the past not only to her son's teachers but to family members and most of all her ex-husband. I sure wish I'd known all of this before I let her words affect me so deeply. Would have saved me a lot of grief. I don't know a lot about this illness but it must be devastating in its effects on those closest to her.
I carry my feelings close to my chest - I always appear happy and carefree even when I don't feel it. Since Michael was away this weekend and I was home nursing my cold I held the pain even closer. It feels good to let it out. It will take me a few more days to get over the effects of her diatribe but at least I can feel pity for her instead of disturbed bewilderment, hurt and yes, some anger. As in "how dare she?!" Isn't it terrible how much comments from another human being can wound us? I know that I, for one, will try to measure my words more carefully in future. I have never spoken to anyone in the way in which she spoke to me but even a carelessly tossed comment can be so hurtful, we just don't know sometimes.
Anyways, that's enough of that, just do me a favour everyone and go hug someone, I know I'm going to...right now!