Hi everybody- I've missed you! Keep your fingers crossed that I am successful in getting wifi hooked up this Friday. I am really in need of some communication with you good folks. Retirement is hard, way harder than I imagined. It's not just that but also I am being steeped in memories at Crofters Lane and I'm finding that hard to deal with too. Everywhere I turn I see Michael's handiwork and it is almost unbearable. The fire pit, the path through the forest, etc etc. I took one walk through the forest and felt so overwhelmingly sad. This was our place, not my place and I'm not sure at this point if I can do it alone.
I just wanted to touch base as I know your were probably wondering how things were going. Well, there have been lots of tears and lots of emergency texts to Kazi and my friends. This isn't the way I wanted things to be and I'm having a hard time adapting to life alone. I put on a brave face but really I am feeling like a fish out of water. Friends were "our" friends so I am feeling lonely and isolated. Happily a friend is visiting tomorrow and then my friend Julie arrives next Tuesday, that will help.
Bye for now.
Hey Lady! You've got this retirement thing!
ReplyDeleteMoving forward after a break up is hard.
Perhaps you can sit in PEI, look around, admire the work you are appreciative of from your former partner, thank it for the joy it brings to you, and the memories you have from it's creation, and thank it for now being something you can choose to enjoy whenever you want moving forward. Recognize and feel the emotions you are going through, and know that they are important to work through.
Be kind with yourself. It's time to reclaim the place that you have been so eager and happy to get to in your life. Gratitude my friend.
If it helps, write it all out. Then walk it out to that fire pit and burn them all. Perhaps you can sit there, looking at the pit objectionably (soon, maybe not right this second) and decide what you'd like to improve or tweak to make it yours.
It's hard - for sure. Been there my friend. You are a strong, kind, intelligent woman. Perhaps Michael isn't with you. That doesn't make you any less you. Time will heal. These steps may help you to move past the sadness of the situation and allow you to once again find the light.
*hugs to you* Retirement is what you make it. And you deserve it to be everything you want it to be.
Thank you Pam, there is so much I can use- I have been writing but let it slide as I prepare for guests. I also decided to put marigolds around the firepit, further out as mosquitoes don't like them. Bless you for being so practical and helpful, I am very thankful for readers, no, Friends, like you!
DeleteAw Jane. I feel badly that you are having a hard time being there w/out "him". and I wish I could be there visiting you and helping you adjust.
ReplyDeleteYou can do this!
If I can take off in a car and travel 2600k+ miles along you can do what you need to do too!!!
We are strong, we are invincible, we are womennnnn....sorry if my breaking out into song made you cringe. lolz
Actually imagining you singing that song is making me smile, so thanks!!
DeleteApplauding your reply.
ReplyDeleteJane x
:)
DeleteHi Jane,know that we all are thinking about you and rooting for you. You have made it this far. You are one strong lady! Take care. Robin
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Robin!
DeleteGlad you made it safely there. The first visit afterwards has to be the hardest and you have lots of time to decide if this where you want to be. No decisions have to be made right now. Make some new memories with your friends there and hopefully things will look better. We missed you too!
ReplyDeleteMaking new memories is a great idea and I will try:) thanks.
DeleteSending you hugs. I've been thinking about you and wondering how you were faring. No need to rush anything. Work through your emotions on your own time. That's the beauty of retirement - you've got all the time you need to decide the steps you want to take toward the future.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't prepared for the waves of emotion and how strong they would be. Thanks for your support Sarah.
DeleteAwww.. (((Jane))) You can do it and i'm betting that there are *WONDERFUL* things ahead for you!! You're such a sweet soul, i'm sure there is a beautiful path laid before you... its just hard to see right now! Hang in there!! xo
ReplyDeleteThanks Carla. Hearing from everyone really really helps.
DeleteSo good to see you posting! So many good suggestions already stated here. Just know that I'm sending good thoughts and prayers and "You GO Girl's" from Tennessee! I can't wait to hear about your adventures! As you sit and appreciate all the things that have been done there already, do one little thing yourself tomorrow and then sit back and admire it!
ReplyDeleteThat's a great suggestion Barb. I don't know what it will be yet but I'll post about it.
DeleteKeeping busy after a breakup is therapeutic but does delay the grief process. Now that you have stopped working and have time to reflect, the feelings will come to the surface and the healing can begin. Now is the time to reflect on the past and look to your future and make some decisions for yourself. How empowering that will be! I wish you all the best of luck and hope you enjoy your summer in PEI. It truly is a magical place.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kerry and you're so right. The past month was filled with so many celebrations I had no time to reflect on what it might be like once I had time to think. It's been overwhelming but necessary.
DeleteJane,
ReplyDeleteSo glad you have arrived safety. You haven't mentioned any effect's from Aurthur so that's a huge PLUS.
Take a deep breath and pull up your best girly pant's because you can do this just fine.
Let's forget about Micheal and all that was done while you were a couple. This house /dream place was always yours, he was a free ticket ride and
loser to break your heart and now poison the house you bought.
You can always sell. But try it for awhile,embrace the time,friends and place to explore before you decide
I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of your thoughts or time wasted on his name in your blog.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I still thinks He reads your blog and needs to know that *&*&*&*$%##%*()))((&&%%%$$$## what we all really think.
It's your new start!!!
I'm so proud of you and you will succeed at what every road you choose.
Happy Vacation and Retirement.
I love how you say it like it is! :) I will take my time and not make any rash decisions. Thank you my friend.
DeleteOh Jane.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you can move on from this point soon. It may be a hard period, but you now have the time and space to meet this head on and you will move forward feeling much better. Keep thinking positive thoughts! We are all with you xxx
Thanks Holly- it can only get better, right?
DeleteLiving well is the best revenge so just enjoy the living daylights out of all the improvements he made on YOUR property that you worked so hard for and which should give you much pride. I agree with others that grief delayed must be dealt with and you'll do it. You've been so busy finishing your work life. Retirement is itself a big change and it takes awhile to get your rhythm. Get a routine going there and ease into it. I enjoy your blog so much and your photography is gorgeous. Thank you for all the moments of pleasure you've given me.
ReplyDeleteGlad you reached out, Jane. I'm sure this first season may be a little tough, but you've got this. Take time to grieve, but I bet you know in your heart you made the right choices. We can't control the goofy choices of others. Glad you have friends coming. That is win/win in my book. Some good company for a bit, but then they leave. You can do this.
ReplyDeleteIt takes great strength to move forward in a positive way. One of the things I have learned about you is that you are a woman of incredible strength. You've shown that in every aspect of your life. Each little spot there needs a new baptism...something new added or a new memory created, so your spirit can fully reclaim this place you have worked for, and dreamed, and make it YOURS. Hugss
ReplyDeleteRetirement is easy.
ReplyDeleteYour thoughts are hard.
Walking on the path thru the forest is easy.
Finding who you are is hard.
Letting go of the old Jane is hard.
Finding the new Jane is up to you.
I am so glad you are safe and sound.
This is your journey and I know you are fabulous !
Ooh, good luck with getting Wifi properly set up... nothing more frustrating than half a connection. Take lots of photos to share. Be strong! Begin with new memories everywhere you go. Go down a new trail, put new stones on the pit, start from the ground up and you will have a much better place. Good luck, and we're here for you!
ReplyDeleteOh Jane, I'm so sorry to hear this. I understand completely, as PEI was yours and Michael's place. Memories are real, and everywhere I imagine. I have faith that you will make it your own, with new friends. If not, you can change your plans. It will take some time, but you have a vibrant personality and people love to be around you. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI see this as a bump in the road not as your entire retirement. Just keep that in mind. And know that you have many people that love and care about you. And if everything else fails, plan a vacation and have a drink. Not in that order!
ReplyDelete