Friday, November 28, 2014

Fighting the Slump

* Happy Thanksgiving to all of me American friends! I am thankful for each and every one of you!

Kazi and I are fighting the "slump" right now. Boo. Why does crap all seem to happen at once? Crap attracts more crap I guess.  You know all about my crap...I've been whining about it for almost a year. Yes, can you believe it? It's been almost a year since Voldemort left the scene of his crime. Has it gotten easier? Somewhat. But I feel a lot of the time like my feet are stuck in deep mud and it takes a lot of effort to take the next step. I feel LAZY but I know it's more of a depressed slump. It takes me a week to accomplish less than what I used to do in a day. But enough about me...

Last week Kazi got in a fender bender while she was leaving Chicago to drive back to London. I got a teary phone call and felt so helpless - I wanted to immediately rush to her aid but she was too far away. She wasn't hurt, thankfully, but she didn't know what to do! Eventually the friend who she had been visiting came to her aid and a police officer stopped, reports were made and the damage to her car was deemed minor enough that she  could continue her journey. Needless to say I was worried sick til she arrived home. The aftermath is still ongoing as we wait to for the car to get called in for repairs etc.

Walking the day after a major wind storm
As if that wasn't enough Kazi's boyfriend  ex-boyfriend has decided he doesn't want to work things out. She is looking at the breakup as an opportunity to do some things she has put off while in the relationship. Stuff like moving to Toronto or going back to Australia to work or travel.  She'll take some time to figure things out - I won't let her jump into something too quickly or she'll likely regret it. (EEK - I'm freaking out about Luna and Lily moving to Toronto!!!)
What's cuter than cuddly kittens?
 Awwww, lookit - Luna has her arm around Lily :)
Lily looks how I feel!
 I do lots of stuff to keep myself busy and the depression at bay but movement isn't always progress. The hiking is good though, I know that much is true:) But life seems like a mystery to me. I'm used to having a plan to follow - get up, go to work etc etc.  I'm not quite sure what my plan should be now and that's ok. Hopefully the answers will come. I'm doing a bit of yoga and meditation and the vibes from that are positive, like the hiking. (maybe the plan is to NOT have a plan - scary!)

The big news is that a date has been set for the installation of my new basement flooring. It's costing almost twice as much as I had hoped but I'm biting the bullet on that one. It's gotta get done. I've been working v e r y  s l o w l y  down there filling in nail holes in the walls and sanding. Today I'll wash the walls and I'll be ready to paint next week. Then when the floors are done I can start the process of UNPACKING the bins of stuff I was going to take to PEI and start making this place look like a home again. That will give me a more settled feeling I think. Getting my house in order will give me the peace of mind to pursue other things...at least that's the hope.

Yesterday there was a fresh dusting of snow on our hike through Gibbons Park and up through the university. Two friends came with me but I ended up walking and talking with someone I hadn't talked to before. Peggy must be in her late 70's - she and her husband Ian joined the hiking club 17 years ago! So they've been retired for awhile. She is a bloody marvel! They hike Tuesdays and Thursdays, swim Mondays and Wednesdays, skate on Fridays, go to language classes, travel, are deeply interested in history and art and are just full of passion for life. Very inspiring. Talking to Peggy made me see that a person can be vital, energetic and full of life no matter what age they are. It was a real eye-opener.
Lots of trees were down due to the major windstorm we had earlier in the week. We had to make a few detours.

 It's good to have friends. It's a balancing act for me though - after being with friends I always need time to myself. A lot of people don't understand that.

University College - where I used to go for my English Lit classes years ago! I have hikes planned for Saturday and Sunday - being outside brings me peace. Well I'd better get going - my laptop charging cord isn't working so I'm using Kazi's - good thing we have the same computers! I'm going to see if I can find a cheap one on e-Bay!

8 comments:

  1. Jane, you've been so many 'life changing' things in a year...no wonder you feel 'out of whack! You'll find the balance you are looking for. Giving yourself time 'to be' is important..things will fall into place when they are meant to.
    Jane xxx

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  2. livingrichonthecheapNovember 28, 2014 at 1:15 PM

    What a year - one with gigantic ups and downs. You have been running a marathon all year and finally,now that it is somewhat over you have to sort out the after bit. You will find your way. As for Kazi, that sucks but she is fortunate to have such a great Mom to support her. She is right, she now has some freedom of choices. Heck, so do you!

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  3. You're still grieving, Jane. There've been huge shifts for you over the past year and I think you're doing amazing. I think you're doing it right, one thing at a time and I truly believe you'll start to adjust as you get into a new routine. I agree with Jane, taking time to just 'be' is important - allow yourself the 'luxury' (if you will) to feel and acknowledge all these new feelings and just sit with them if you need to. It's okay. And know with certainty that we're here for you. xx

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  4. Jane, enjoy your new adventure one day at a time. It is okay to just hang out and be you. It's okay to cry too. All these changes are happening for a reason and time will be your best friend as you figure out your new path. xoxo

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  5. I have to agree with the other commenters. You've had a dramatic change over the last year and it wasn't once you expected. Take it easy on yourself, you'll soon find a new rhythm to your days and lots to look forward to.

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  6. You may not feel as if you are getting something done but maybe you are doing exactly what you need to be doing. Maybe you don't need to make plans but accept and enjoy the slower path that you are on. Let life happen. Hugs my friend.

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  7. Wow, really almost a year? I'm sorry you have to go through this. It must be difficult, but each day will get a little easier. Hopefully Kazi will stick around for a bit, or at least leave the kittens? :) Hang in there. If you want to visit me, the door is open. I'll even give you space to be alone too! :)

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  8. I'm so sorry about Kazi's boyfriend and the car! yuck. Also that you're in a mood slump. This time of year does it to lots of people!
    I loved your Christmassy post! but it doesn't have a title so I couldn't click on it to post a comment.

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