Couch Potato

Couch potato, that's me! My retina is still attached, that's the good news. But I am still seeing those darn floaters. Flashing lights have greatly reduced. I was reading more about the condition today and it can take months before all that activity settles down. Boo. I also read that most (not all) detached retinas follow PVD (Posterior Vitreous Detachment). However, if retina is in good shape at the time of a PVD there is only a 2-5% chance of a retinal detachment occurring. That's pretty good news. Except that it could happen within days or weeks or months.

I can't sit still for that long!!

So... a pretty boring week. But I would choose boring over surgery any day of the week, or the whole week as the case may be!

We have Hannah banana staying over tonight. Kazi has restaurant and movie gift cards so they're using some of those - not sure where they are eating or what they are seeing - I am just full of information!

I filled the day with a short walk outside, being very careful of the ice, finished watching "Zodiac" which I started yesterday and "State of Play" today on Amazon Prime video, both were good but Helen Mirren was wasted in her small role. Tonight I'll watch an episode or two of "The Fall" which has some new episodes - excellent show!

**never thought I'd be reduced to telling you about what I've been watching on TV!! 

Other than that I've been researching for my next trip to the UK, thinking about Scotland this year :) likely in September. Looking at the various long distances trails trying to figure out what part of the country I'd most like to see. Hard decisions. Lots of time :)

Well, I don't think anyone is out in my kitchen making me dinner so I'd better hop to it! See you in the funny pages :)

2017 - Boom or Bust?

I keep a mental list in my head of posts I want to write. Today I am setting those aside as well as deleting one that was a bit of a rant. I can't even remember why I needed to rant! Or felt I needed to rant. Everything is relative isn't it?

Kilally Meadows

My house is small compared to others. But it's warm and cozy and protects me from the elements. Isn't that what it's for?  Millions of people don't have a roof over their heads.

I thought I needed new living room furniture (remember that post?) but when my daughter expressed her sentimental love for the furniture we have I cancelled the pickup. The couches may be a little outdated but they are in good shape, firm and comfortable. I often fall asleep on them. Isn't that what they're for? Refugees have no furniture.

My truck is old and rusty - but it always starts, is in good working order and has never failed to get me from Point A to Point B. Isn't that what it's for? The poor in London are hoping to get a discounted bus pass.

I have read many blog posts over the past week that relay feelings of sadness, depression, illness and injury, lost hope and feeling "stuck". It seems that 2016 was not a great year for a lot of people and 2017 is looking pretty scary, especially if you're a liberal. (That's a joke!)

What do we want for ourselves in 2017? It's pretty much a given that we want to be happy, yet our present circumstances makes that hard at times, if not all of the time. Curiously, a couple of months ago I purchased a journal for 2017 called "Create Your Own Happiness". I think I'm going to need it - I have my own issues with depression/anxiety and motivation and I worry about climate change among other things. From what I've written above I think it's clear that I don't derive happiness from things. I'm grateful I own my home, own Dougie the Dodge and own old furniture. (If I keep things long enough they become valuable antiques don't they?) And I have no debt.

What leapt out at me while reading blog posts today were all of the positive and helpful, supportive comments. We have such a good network here, I know, because I've been on the receiving end of your support during some of the worst moments of my life.

So...what's my point? Do I even have a point? Well, yes I do...we really do make our own happiness. What helps us feel happy? - each of us will have a different list and I encourage you to make one. Some of you already have.
Here's mine: ( in no particular order )

• walking in the forest
• witnessing the return of birds in the spring and watching the plants and wildflowers come back to life
• photography
• trail running, volleyball, hiking, cycling
• yoga, meditation
• travelling to new places and exploring them through long distance walking
• the beach/sunshine
• books
• music/listening and playing the piano
• creating: writing, carving, painting, sewing, journalling, crocheting
• standing up for social wrongs
• donating to worthy causes
• cooking 
• Luna and Lily
• Kazi
• Hannah
• brothers and sisters
• Julie and Troy and Lynnie
• my cyber friends, especially those I have met: Annie, Michelle in NB, Kim and Marguerite in PEI, Johanna (many more I want to meet!)
• my high school graduating class - we still meet up every year
• cousins and niece and nephews
• genealogy research
• good movies
• the poet Rumi
• laughing/singing/dancing
• road trips

Nothing like the antics of an alien-looking wild turkey to make you smile.

Evidence that the deer are nearby even though all I saw were their hoof prints.

I hope you'll make a happiness list and I hope that at least once a day you'll do something from your list to increase your joy. There's a lot of shit going on in the world that we can do nothing about - and that can make us feel helpless. But you can do something about what's going on in your own back yard even if it's just making a cup of tea and reading a chapter in whatever book/genre that interests you.

Today I: walked in the forest, listened to the geese flying overhead, took photos, read the newspaper, had a coffee and Bailey's ;) , cuddled with Lily, spent time with Kazi, texted a friend, stared at the watery version of the sun that was available today, texted a friend, wrote a post.  

Plan to - have a bath with my new Lush bath bomb, watch a movie, read a book, have a shot of Jameson's, and fall asleep probably before midnight!   

I'm so happy I've been able to keep this orchid plant alive and blooming!

More belly rubs coming right up Lily!

Wishing you all a very HAPPY New Year! Let's work on it together and provide support to those who need it, no judgement, no put downs. As if!

I will never give up my camera, NEVER! Most people these days rely on their cell phones for picture-taking purposes. When I was in Ireland I used both my camera and my phone. Then, in the evening, I could post photos to Facebook from my phone. IF I buy a wi-fi enabled camera then I wouldn't need to use my phone for photos anymore. I am considering it.

On the other hand, I keep all my photos on my laptop and on flash drives - I don't make as many prints and albums as I used to. When I asked at Walmart where are the photo albums the clerk said, "oh, we don't stock them anymore"! I find that sad. But I found lots at Michael's and they were all 50% off!

My brother, Kim, and I started taking photos at a very young age. I have photos of myself up in trees, standing on the roof of our house wearing my mother's clothes and high heels, (obviously unbeknownst to my mother!), running up and down the fire escape at our elementary school and so on. Kim and I were enraptured by our mother's collection of old movie magazines and publicity photos. We did our own reenactments of famous scenes from "Gone with the Wind"and "The Wizard of Oz" using a tape recorder Kim got for Christmas one year.

But...I digress...

Since my childhood I have felt like a recorder of events. I take photos of everything, protest events, PRIDE parades, Kilally Meadows, flowers, birds, clouds, the cats - you've seen it all here. I come home from every trip abroad with 2,000-3,000 photos - I never know exactly what I've captured until I get home and start editing.

This year, as in many Christmases past, photos play a large part in my gift giving. Our new blessing, Hannah, is receiving a little album full of treasures. She mentioned to me when I was showing her photos of Kazi as a baby, that she didn't have any photos of "their dad" as her mother threw them all out. So I went through all of Kazi's albums to find any photos of their dad. I scanned and scanned, then had them printed at Walmart.

Included are photos of Kazi and Hannah's paternal grandparents. They are both named Kazimiera (Hannah's middle name) in memory of their Polish grandmother who was forced to sing on German radio to survive the labour camps of WWII. Their grandfather could grace the pages of any movie star magazine!

Then, one day at Michael's, I saw this album:

So.....off to Walmart again with my flash drive for photos of Luna and Lily to put in Kazi's stress busting little album: who can look at these photos and not smile?

Cheeky girls!!

Lily looks kinda jowly!

Another gift for Kazi this Christmas (I go for inexpensive yet meaningful!) -
in honour of the Cobalt (Stella) which I gave her a few years ago when I bought Dougie the Dodge.
Kazi cried when saying goodbye to Stella and pulled off a bit of rusty car as a memento. What she doesn't know (shhhhhh!) is that I've mounted that rusty bit of Stella in a shadow box for her to keep forever. Or until the next time she cleans her room, which could be until "forever"! I should have taken it out of the box for photos but you get the idea.

My last photo of photos today exists in almost all homes - the photo fridge depository: I see...a baby picture of Kazi, three photos of Hannah, a photo of my two sisters, a photo of one of my brothers, one of my sisters and me from the last time I was in PEI, a photo of my twin grand nieces, old notes, invitations, ticket stubs, a strip of 4 photo booth pictures of Kazi and I, a "grandpa" magnet (my dad died well over a decade ago), the note I wrote to my mom after she died, love notes from Kazi to me etc.

Once, years ago, a colleague came to my house to pick me up for a school-related function. As she came in the front door she asked "do you mind if I look at your fridge?...I learn so much about people from what they put on their fridge." It's true isn't it? It's like an evolving time capsule...when I get something I want to add it often means the removal of some former treasure. So what remains is what's most important at this particular moment in time.

To me, that's what a photo is - it represents something sacred in that particular moment in our personal history - more precious than diamonds.

New Family Member

Here's a recent photo of my girl and me at The Tragically Hip concert in September. Such a good time :)

And.....Here's my daughter and her newly discovered half sister - Hannah!

I don't know if I've ever blogged about Kazi's dad. He had (has) issues. Understatement. I'm not going to get into all of that. Ancient history. Let's just say that l still have anger simmering way down deep. Not because of anything he did to me (well maybe a little!) but because when Kazi was 12 he stopped coming to see her. Hard to imagine, I know, but true nonetheless. Which explains why I get Mother's Day AND Father's Day cards from Kazi.

Matching sweaters for sisters :)

When Kazi was 16 we found out that her dad had had another daughter. At that point Hannah was a baby and Kazi wasn't ready to be a sister. When I got back from Ireland Kazi told me that Hannah had been "liking" Kazi's posts on Facebook and Instagram. She didn't know who Hannah was but checked out her FB profile and discovered that she was her sister! And she lives in London...with her dad.

Apparently her mother has severe mental health issues and no longer has custody of Hannah. They would have to be VERY severe since now her dad has custody. We will say he is trying to be a good parent this time around. I don't know for sure and have no intention of seeing him. Kazi wants a relationship with Hannah, but not so much her dad though she will have to see him to some extant as Hannah is just 12. She is coming for a sleepover this Friday as she wants to get to know me too. I am good with that.

Hannah adores Kazi. Her dad has talked to her about Kazi and gave Hannah Kazi's name as her middle name. She has had photos of Kazi and took it upon herself to find Kazi through social media. She's even in French Immersion, just like Kazi was.

I hope that they can establish a good relationship. Hannah's at that age where she needs good female role models and Kazi is very willing to be a big sister and provide guidance through those difficult teenage years. I am VERY proud of her for diving right in. She's handling herself really well and navigating through her dad's issues like a pro. This is one of those moments when you realize that your kid has turned out really well :) and doesn't it feel good!!

I never badmouthed him to her but honestly answered any questions she's had over the years. So she knows about his struggles but not all the gory details. 

So that's our excitement for this week!  Try to beat that!!