Time is on My Side

Time these days just gets away from me - I can feel it slipping through my fingers like sand. I thought that once I retired time would slow down a little bit but it hasn't. There is so much to see and do and I have to balance that with equal amounts of down time. Those of you who are introverts like me will understand that. Extroverts derive their energy from being around other people while introverts enjoy the company of others but regain their energy by spending time alone.

Like most introverts I do better in small groups (2-4 people) and like 1:1 time spent with a close friend as opposed to large group parties and events where I tend to feel lost and invisible. I don't have the gift of "small talk" - I can wing it for awhile but then feel exhausted afterwards. I don't mind attending "games night" or "progressive euchre nights" because there is an activity that we are all involved in but having to "mingle" at a party is difficult and I tend to avoid those.

In speaking with my introverted brother he admitted that he sometimes "lies" to others who are requesting him to attend certain social functions because he really doesn't want to go. So he'll invent something in order to bow out gracefully. I had to laugh at that because sometimes I do the same thing! I now find myself really weighing whether I want to attend certain events or not and if I don't want to go I don't. Sometimes I make up a reason and sometimes (depending on the event and people involved) I can explain myself honestly.

My real friends know me well and understand but there are others who don't get it. But I'm at the point in my life now when I feel I can and should do exactly what I want. If I don't want to go to something then I don't go; instead of suffering through it, regretting the time wasted and swearing to myself I'll never do that again. So that's why I love this quotation below which Meryl Streep quoted as words she lives by. (Original author is Jose Micard Teixeira)

It's all about being honest - with yourself and with others.

 “I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.” _ Meryl Streep quoted it as words she lives by!
Update: originally written by self-help author José Micard Teixeira.

So I cut my own hair!

I don't want to waste any more time. For some reason now that I'm retired it seems easier to say NO. In the past I would go to things because I felt (wrongly) that I was being antisocial if I didn't go. Now I understand myself better and am gradually developing a life that suits me better. I can choose between saying yes and no. I'm not becoming a hermit - I do say yes to things but I'm also giving myself time for my solitary pursuits: reading , writing, sewing, carving, genealogy, cycling and other, more artsy pursuits. 

And there's nothing wrong with that!

"I vant to be alone".....(read with German accent)....(as if you were Greta Garbo)...

Most, if not all, of you understand the need to be alone sometimes...not lonely, just peacefully, restfully, refreshingly, revitalizing (etc etc) alone. Sigh...

Not wanting to sound  ungrateful, I  just got home from yet another dinner. There was nothing wrong with it, it wasn't horrible, or loud, or long, in fact it was very nice. One of my students wanted to take my dep't head, Fil, and me out to dinner. It was lovely but I'm so very tired of being ON if you know what I mean. I can be sociable in small amounts, in spurts, but then I need to rest and re-energize. The last few weeks there have been too many dinners, lunches, breakfasts, parties, open houses, BBQs, drinks, cakes and I just want it to END!! Or at least have a breather - thankfully it's the weekend.

Here we are with our young date being photographed by the waitress while a sparkler sizzles away in our complimentary baklava. I think I have perfected my smile over the last few weeks to the point where I don't really have to think about it anymore. That sounds insincere but truly I just need to fully charge my batteries.

Am I being a whiner? I hope not. I gave tonight's dinner my best effort as it really was wonderful that Josh wanted to do this for us. We had great food, and good conversation - oh, and next to us a fellow proposed to his girlfriend (she said yes!!) plus there was a birthday celebrated at another table and then we were applauded for our retirement so it will be a memorable night for all.

When I'm feeling utterly exhausted I imagine sitting in my truck, the miles flying by, arriving at Crofters Lane, making a pot of coffee (after I figure out how to turn the water back on!), sitting on the front porch and looking out over the bay and letting my mind drift. IT WILL HAPPEN-JUST NOT QUITE YET!!

I must summon reserves of energy to power me through one more week. I can do it. Only 5 more days of school - on Thursday I get to work at home - yeehaw - and on Friday we have breakfast at school, mass, a meeting and then yet another luncheon and then FREEDOM (so really that's only 3 days of school!!) Oh, but let's not forget getting together with friends on Friday night - oh my. I should have been a cloistered nun! No, not really, I will enjoy the social activities as much as I can and then I will relish my alone time even more. Oh, and one more dinner with another set of parents next week, lol.

Truly - I'll be fasting and biking a hundred miles a day to get rid of all this blubber around my middle - I kid you not. I've never seen so much CAKE!!!

OK, gotta go. Going to take my glass of wine to bed with me, who cares if it isn't even 9pm yet? I need to quiet my mind, listen to an audio book (I have a new Louise Penny mystery and it's wonderful!) and ease on into a rejuvenating sleep.

Good night!

Oh, and Barb - when I get to Summerside in PEI I'm going to check into wifi - hopefully without having to be on a year long contract (since I'll just be there for 5 months) - the intent is to continue recording my journey - the trials and tribulations - la deuxieme partie!!

Sunday Night Chit Chat...Chit Chat

The wharf in Tignish - more fishing boats leave Tignish than
any other wharf in PEI.

Make sure you visit Carla's blog for the latest edition of Sunday Night Chit Chat!


What are you…
Reading?

Yes, I have two on the go which is why I haven't finished Plum Island yet, but it's an excellent read - the police officer who is investigating a double murder which is NOT on his turf has such a sense of humour - I love when a book makes you laugh out loud:)
I also read about 1,000 recipes today as I went through them all - I have recipes in a drawer, two boxes and on a shelf so I weeded them out and now what I have left fits nicely in the 2 recipe boxes.

Watching?
Nothing so far...Kazi is watching the football game - go Patriots! at her boyfriend's house and Michael is attaching a new cord from our new TV to our sound system so that the words will be in sync with the movie actors' lips tee hee.  I'm telling you it's taking me a while to get used to high definition. It still seems 3D to me. We'll be watching a movie after dinner but I don't know what it'll be yet...something from....

Listening to?

Feel free to get up and dance!!


Cooking/Baking?
Nothing exciting...a big pot of vegetable soup yesterday using up some old carrots and celery - that'll be my lunch this week.  Tried a different scone recipe today and I don't like it as much as my "usual" recipe so won't make them again.  Pan fried some tilapia and made an amazing omelet for lunch with sauteed onions and garlic, crumbled turkey bacon, egg whites and skim milk mozzarella cheese melted on top. Yummy - The 10 Pound Challenge update tomorrow!


Happy you accomplished this week?
You'll love this one! I have a beautiful black wool winter coat that Michael bought me a couple of years ago but I haven't worn it this winter because, being wool, it had little woolly black pills all over it. So I bought some double A's for my defuzzer and went to town. Plus I did a white toque that got washed with some dark stuff (NOT BY ME!!) and a black sweater. I'm so glad I finally got that done - now I can wear my gorgeous coat!


I'm also glad I went to see my artist brother Kim after school on Friday. He has the landlord from hell and had to go to the tenant's rights bureau for help. He really needed to unload. We gabbed for FOUR hours nonstop!!


Looking forward to next week?
I have a few DIY projects to get done this week around the house and I LOVE crossing things off my TO DO list! 


Thankful for today?
I'm thankful that Michael brought me a decaf soy milk american misto from Starbucks after he did his errands.  I'm enjoying it right now. I am so thankful for a "room of my own" it's hard to express in words...though I will try one day this week!  It all started with this:

Love as first sight!!

Yup - it fits me!!

I happened to tell Michael when we were shopping for our new TV back in December that I LOVED this chair so lo and behold he bought it for my birthday!! (which isn't til May!) and this led to the idea of creating a "room of my own" centered around this chair. I'm sitting in it right now!!
AND we can't forget about the birthday boy - I'm VERY thankful for him - especially now that he's the same age as I am for the next 5 months!!

The birthday boy at work.

At Chaucers Pub - you'd never know that outside the wind
was howling and snow pellets pelting the city!

It's the Most WONDERFUL Time of the Year....tra la la la la...!!

Yes, my friends, it the most wonderful time of the year. The time when presents have been opened, large meals have been cooked and devoured, carols have been sung, rum and eggnog consumed, family visited, reminiscences reminisced, boxing day sales attended or ignored as the case may be, old movies watched once again, parties enjoyed and jolly old St. Nick has finally returned to the North Pole.


Yes folks, my favorite time of the year is AFTER all of the obligatory festivities are over. Especially this year. Today is the first day that all activity has slowed to a mere crawl and I can finally stop and appreciate and reflect on all that has happened...on all that I received, of time spent with new acquaintances and old friends, of phone conversations with far away family members and thinking about what went well and what didn't. 


You see, I don't do well with the hustle bustle, the boisterous parties, the vast amounts of food and alcohol, the go go go with no stops to rest and reconnoitre in between. I'm an introvert.


Although all of the social interactions are NOT yet over - there's still dinner out with my neighbour tomorrow and New Year's dinner and parties this Saturday - today I was able to pause and recharge my batteries. I can be sociable, I can be witty and friendly and interesting...but it takes a lot out of me. It doesn't come naturally and I even have to think ahead about what I could say to people I don't know and what I could ask a total stranger when I find myself standing alone in a room full of people. Horrors...


Yes, I just typed that - "alone in a room full of people." To make things even more challenging Michael is an extrovert. He thrives on being with people. The difference between an extrovert and an introvert is where we derive our energy from. Introverts recharge by being alone, reflecting on things, being at peace in a quiet environment (HOME!) whereas extroverts recharge like a solar panel - out and about in the sun with crowds of people, noise and excitement.


Yesterday Michael and I did some boxing day shopping and he bought me two new books: "The Introvert Advantage - How to Thrive in an Extrovert World" and "Introvert Power - Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength." I am going to learn more about ME and what makes me tick and we are both going to learn more about each other. Happily I am with someone who wants to understand me and accepts me as an introvert. I imagine I'll be learning more about extroverts as well.


Our winter camping in a yurt experience should be illuminating to say the least!!


As a compromise we stayed in all day in our pjs. I was able to catch up on all of your blog posts which fills me with great happiness. There is wine mulling in the crockpot, the house is a mess and I can finally just BE. Soon we'll be going out to see Mission Impossible at the Rainbow (it's $4.00 Tuesday!) I'm re-energized and now it's Michael's turn. 

Don't I look happy? My name tag wouldn't stick to my top so I stuck it on my chest. In the photo is Robin, the hostess and her son, Jarrod. I had just found out that Jarrod and Kazi both went to the same french immersion elementary school and the same highschool - in fact, I remember him walking to the bus stop every morning with his hoodie pulled down over his face. He's a couple years older than her so they weren't best buds or anything but they did know each other. Small world! I went to the party with a good attitude, determined to talk to people and make an effort to have a good time. It worked!

I JUST LOVE SATURDAYS:)

PEA Potato Field near our House
My Own Farmer's Market!

I love Saturdays. Oh yeah, I already mentioned that. I didn't take any photos today...GASP....I know eh? In fact, I haven't taken any photos since we got home last Sunday. HORRORS!  That is why my post photo is of the lovely potato field that's near my PEI house - we were told to take as many as we wanted (spuds, not photos) so we dug up a few and brought them home - for FREE!! 


I've been sticking pretty close to home this past week except for the time spent in my classroom. School is the major focus right now, so my camera is getting kinda lonesome.


So today, being Saturday, I pushed all of the school stuff aside and really enjoyed the beautiful weather. We got up pretty early (8am - that's early for us because we like to stay up late watching movies we borrow from the library and last night was no exception!) and headed for the farmer's market. Oh how I love this time of year! The tables are creaking ominously under their heavy load. I just wanted it ALL!!!


Then the reality of my wallet set in ($22) and we settled for a huge brilliantly white cauliflower, several pale yellow peppers (haven't seen that colour before), a bag of green beans that looked like they'd just been picked a few minutes ago), a big bag of mixed greens, blueberries, raspberries and blackberries and a basket of peaches. I think that was it. And I still had a couple of dollars left!!


Already I've eaten most of the salad greens and a nice bunch of green beans, steamed and tossed in a dash of olive oil and ironically a dash of Mrs. Dash:)


After taking our marketing home we set off on our bikes for Victoria Park - it was the perfect temperature for a ride. There I took off my shoes, spread out my blanket and popped by nose into my current crime novel. I would probably have fallen asleep but for the music from the Multi-kulti fest going on and the folks a couple of trees over who had this rope attached between two huge maples upon which they were practising their tight-rope skills. They need more practise.


We biked home after a couple of hours and I luxuriated in the reading of The Globe and Mail while Michael got ready for his shift at Jambalaya. I then dropped him off so Kazi could have the car for her late shift at Jacks. I ate another incredible salad and since then have loved having a few hours to myself (being the introvert that I am it's precious to have a few hours just for me) to read your posts and write this one. I guess this is as close to a perfect day as it can get!


Hmmmmm...I wonder what tomorrow will bring??