I lied. Part Two of Getting There will be slightly delayed. Right now I can't get there from here.
A day in my life talking to Lori, one of my students with autism.
Lori: can I bend your glasses?
Me: no...why would that not be a good idea?
Lori: because then I would owe you $537.00?
Me: right, do you have $537.00?
Lori: no. Can I look down your top?
Lori: it's personal?
Me: you got it.
Lori: can a man wipe a woman's bum?
Me: no... because.....?
Lori: it's not appropriate?
Me: right....Get your math out Lori.
Lori: then can I break your glasses?
Lori: I don't have $537.00?
Me: right. Do you have a ruler?
Lori: yes....have you been on Gore Rd.?
Me: yes....lots of times. Turn to the last page you were working on...
Lori: where does it end?
Me: where does what end...(as if I didn't know!)
Lori: Gore Rd. Where does it end?
Me: ummmm Clarke Side Rd. I think...
Lori: right, Clarke Side Rd. Where does it begin?
Me: (sighing) Hamilton Rd.
Lori: yeah, (dreamily) Hamilton Rd.
Me: start on this question.
Lori: what roads will we take to get to East Park?
Me: (what the hell time is it?) Dundas St., then Adelaide, then Hamilton Rd.
Lori: do we turn left or right on Hamilton Rd.?
Me: left, now let's get going on your math...
Lori: when he leave Eastpark, do we go left or right on Hamilton Rd.?
Me: left, we turn left onto Hamilton Rd.
Lori: left, yes that's correct, we turn left....
Me: ok, do you know how to do this question?
Lori: can you call Ed Roland today?... (Ed Roland is the lead singer of the band "Collective Soul" and I have brought Lori two CD's of their music to school for her to swoon to..)
Me: no, I don't have his phone number, it's unlisted. Do you know what unlisted means?
Lori: yes, go on google and get his phone number.
Me: I can't, his number is unlisted.
Lori: spicy eyes, you have spicy eyes...(my eyeglasses have the words Spicy Eyes on the arms)
Lori: can I give you a hug and a kiss and pretend I'm Ed Roland? (hormones raging...)
Me: you can give me a hug, but not a kiss.....AFTER you get your math finished.
Lori: spicy eyes....spicy eyes (doing her math now...)
That's a five minutes glimpse into my daily journey as a special ed teacher....