Sunday, September 19, 2010

Changing my Attitude

Historically, this time of year always makes me very sad: I am back at school no longer with the leisure time to enjoy sights as the Bayfield sunset pictured above, the weather gets colder (and much rainier for some reason this year - and no, I'm not sure if that is a real word or not but it's just the right word so live with it!), I get a lot grumpier (oh, you didn't notice??), I have to do the major switch of clothing - put away all the beautiful, brightly-coloured summery attire and haul out all the black and grey clothing (yuck yuck yuck - and no I'm not laughing), the trips to the trailer start to dwindle to nothing and my thoughts turn to scraping icy windshields and the like.

However, this year I've noticed that the doom and the gloom are less doomier and gloomier. Instead of dwelling on "what was" I am thinking of the renovations I want to make to my new abode in PEI. How much further should I extend the kitchen and the mudroom - 8 feet?  12 feet?  more?? And the new barn I want to build - where should it be placed - to the left of the house or to the right? Should I include a guest room in it as was suggested by my friend Troy the other day? And I wonder how the 34 little spruce seedlings that Michael transplanted from the forest are doing? Are they thriving - I know they've been getting lots of rain.

Yesterday, while at the trailer, a relative of our neighbour's came by to view the trailer (I have it up for sale though not trying very hard to sell it) and once again I was faced with the dilemma of either selling it and using the money to pay down my line of credit or keeping it so I can enjoy it during the spring and fall (summers I will be in PEI). 

The thought of selling it doesn't leave me quite as panic-stricken as before. Although greatly attached to the trailer (it's where I regained my senses after my marriage fell apart and where I came to understand what is truly important in life -FREEDOM NOT STUFF) I know I have my feet placed firmly under me and can take my life's lessons with me wherever I am.  It's not the trailer I need now - it's living a meaningful life - in the classroom, in the condo, in my neighbourhood, in my family, with my friends and in PEI.

So if it comes to that - I feel confident I can live the "trailer life" without the trailer.

1 comment:

MKatherine said...

You know, I always loved this time of year best - the colors, smells and the gold aspen made for wonderful hikes. This year, however, there's a bit of sadness to the change in seasons. A bit opposite from where you are, it seems!

I suppose I just need to get out and find a lovely house like you now have!