Taking Care of Business

I think I'm at that place where I've wallowed in self-pity for as long as I can and now I just feel damn angry.  While I'd say I'm better at wallowing than I am at demonstrating anger I need to get things done and wallowing isn't good for getting things done. So...ahem...
                                 BITE ME!!

HEY, not you guys!! Come back!!

You know who I mean! That being said this will NOT be a blog where I pulverize Michael. While I am angry at him I am not a basher...except in my own mind. I won't get into "he said, she said" kind of stuff. He has his own issues to deal with, he's made his decision. Now I need to get off my ass and take care of business because....life goes on.  Right now it feels like a crappy life but once you've reached my wise old age you know there's nowhere to go but UP. 

So I got my budget done for January and paid all outstanding charges on my Mastercard. What with all the renos I was a little afraid of facing this day so I waited until it was a payday to buffer the numbers a little. I also lost a day of pay too so the paycheque wasn't quite what it should be. I now face 2014 with no credit card debt and no debt except for a small mortgage on my PEI home. I've paid off more than half of the original cost and have the amortization whittled down to 8 years remaining. Where I have fallen short is in my savings - I'm short by $1500. Yes - $1500.00!! Not too bad eh? I can live with that. What with interest, tax refund and extra scrimping I can probably make that up by the end of June.

Yes, June 30th is on its way! I have around 180 days left til retirement. The day after new years I am going to phone OTPP (Ontario Teacher's Pension Plan) and get the process rolling - I am going to make it OFFICIAL!! Exciting!!

I went out grocery shopping for the 5 day juice fast I'm going to do starting tomorrow. For those of you interested in the details of the juice fast GO HERE. This is the "Reboot with Joe" site (Joe from Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead fame); scroll down to see the different plans - there's a 3 day plan, a 5 day plan etc. I still felt a little light-headed while shopping - that flu bug was nasty! I also took back 2 large bags full of wine bottles (no alcohol while fasting! - hence starting tomorrow not today!) Now I'm gathering up all the garbage around here which will be no mean feat! I'm making a fresh start tomorrow - JANUARY 1, 2014!!
I don't know what 2014 will bring but anything will be better than December 2013!! Tonight I am getting together with my gal pals for drinks, treats and laughs. Honestly, I can't think of a better way to start the new year.

I wish for you all a blessed New Year, lots of time spent with loved ones whether they be partners, siblings, children, friends or the furry kind :) Love comes in all different sizes and shapes, sometimes it lasts forever, sometimes just for a brief moment in time. Experience all that you can!

                                Me and my Best Girl
                                  December 25, 2013

Thank You

Hi everyone. I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you out there who have supported me with kind words and offers of help, whether it be to offer your home to me or a shoulder to cry on, to go for a coffee or just stunned shock.

I appreciate each and every offer, every supportive word, every cyber hug, every email from some of you who are unable to comment. Why is that anyway?

Right now I have nothing figured out. I want to take my blog in a different direction but not sure what that will be yet. Unfortunately I ended up with the flu also so I really was down and out for awhile. I haven't been out of the house since Christmas Day but am going to attempt going to the grocery store tomorrow morning and to a friend's house for New Year's Eve tomorrow night. Nothing too strenuous. The flu was mostly in my respiratory system - lots of thick coughing, fever and chills, headache and body aches. I still have a bit of a cough but not too bad and am over the chills etc. I guess my immune system was pretty non-existent.

Again, I've made no decisions. But there are some obvious areas I need to work on. These include:
1. Health and Fitness
2. Renos and redecorating
3. Preparing for Retirement

I have started thinking about #1.  Tomorrow I am starting on a 5 day juice fast. I recently watched "Fat, Sick and Almost Dead" on Netflix about a fellow from Australia who went on a 60 day juice fast because he was obese and on many medications due to the diseases he had developed by being obese. He was able to rid himself of all medications, drop a large amount of weight and become physically active again. I have also researched somewhere close to school where I can join a beginner's yoga class. And I have researched a place close by where I can treat myself to a spa day.

I'm not kidding myself that doing these things will change my life but I have to do something and start somewhere and where better to start than on myself.

LOVE you guys!!

Can't think of a title

Sorry not to be in touch.

Just one short week ago I couldn't imagine that I would be writing this - but Michael has left me. In the span of one week he told me he didn't feel he could move to PEI and that he feels he needs to live on his own.

Right now he is staying with a sister in Kitchener. He said he would stay with her over the two week Christmas break and then come back to London and decide what to do next. I didn't realize that meant that while Kazi and I were in Toronto for our Les Mis weekend he would be moving his stuff out of our home. I came home to find an empty closet, empty dresser and thought I was going to die.

I can't even think about what I'm going to do tomorrow, or the next day, let alone the rest of my life. It has been turned upside down and sideways. My (our) plans have gone up in smoke. The only decision I've been able to make is to NOT make any decisions.

I know this is a real shocker for you, it was a shock to me also. I felt that all was going well, extremely well in fact. I was in no way prepared for this. Just writing this is making me feel like I am going to throw up.

So on that note I'll end for now and provide more info later. I just wanted to give you an update as I know I left things up in the air with my last post.

Crisis

Just to let you know I am not disappearing again. Dealing with a major crisis and will update you when I can. Keep me in your prayers please.

Greetings from Siberia

Hah! just kidding... it's a balmy -7c today, which compared to yesterday's temp of -15c feels quite mild. I am at work at the moment, it's 6:20am and I have about 90 minutes before the little rugrats arrive.  Today is Friday and in my classroom Friday is Funday! I have planned an Advent activity for each day of December and today is MOVIE day! We are watching the Grinch. Before you get up in arms for "watching a movie during school time" we are watching it over the lunch hour. And our Best Buddies are coming to watch it with us. Should be a great time - I have treats!!

Other Advent activities around our theme of HURRY UP AND WAIT have included crafts, reading Christmas books, creating matching and sorting activities for the students with a higher level of need, making Christmas cards, cleaning and decorating the classroom, playing a Christmas game and doing several different countdowns til Christmas. We've also studied Advent Wreaths and their symbolism and next week we'll be going to Mass at our local cathedral. We also put together a large box of items for our Advent project - this year we're helping Ark Aid Mission who helps homeless teens.

Every once in a while I get a JOLT like this morning when I was opening my classroom door - this is my LAST CHRISTMAS with my students - and I feel sad...for about a New York minute! No, really, there is some melancholy mixed in with the excitement of being now under 200 days til retirement. Yes, that's right, you heard it here first - only 198 days til I'm done! I wonder what I'll be doing one year from now at 6:32am? Will I be in London still or in PEI? Will I be awake?? or still asleep. Stay tuned...

Kick my Butt - PLEASE!!

I am in the depths of laziness. IF you can call a person  who gets up at 5am, works straight through til 4pm, goes and buys groceries, then goes and buys 2 new toilets, then goes home to make dinner - lazy! 

Here I sit, laptop on my...you guessed it - LAP - dressed for exercise, recliner in the recline position, the only things getting exercise are my already nimble fingers.

Exercise is highly overrated.

I would rather sleep.

Or eat Smarties.

Or read.

Good night. Come kick my butt tomorrow.

Winter Blahs - Trying not to Complain...

Well, not trying hard enough!

Doesn't look like much in these photos but our kitchen now has a new floor of ceramic tiles.  By noon today the grout will have set for 24 hours so we can start putting the kitchen back together. I know a big part of my winter blahs is caused by every room in this house being in an uproar! Just finding a pair of scissors this morning I felt like Roald Amundsen looking for the Northwest Passage!

Another crinkle in the reno plans because they wouldn't be reno plans if there weren't any crinkles (or is that wrinkle??)- where the floor of the foyer meets the hardwood - can't put ceramic tile there as planned because then the ceramic would be way above the hardwood (floor wasn't level BIG SURPRISE so had to be levelled) so having to make a change to vinyl flooring which is thinner - I am SO NOT happy about that!. We went across the city yesterday to return the ceramic tiles which we can't use now only to find out that we only had 30 days to replace them AND we can't return them anyways on a Saturday as THAT person doesn't work on Saturdays...WHAT???  On the bright side (gotta look for that bright side) we are hopeful we can return the leftover ceramic tile in exchange for vinyl and we found a piece of vinyl that is on for half-price that looks almost the same as the ceramic. Michael will have to make another trip there tomorrow to see if it can be worked out. Sigh.

So it doesn't look like this place is going to get decorated for Christmas this year, which is too bad as it will likely be our last Christmas here. Things are costing way more than I thought AND taking a lot longer to complete. I did some number juggling yesterday to see if we could afford to stay in the condo longer than anticipated if we need more time for the renos before listing for sale. It could be done though it would be tight. I'm also going to let Kazi know that she has until June 30th next year to live here rent-free, then I'll be charging her some rent. It's time to spread your wings, little birdie, and fly, dammit, fly!

Are some of you in the path of that nasty winter storm going on in the U.S.? Looks awful! Most of our big snow has melted away so the world looks grey and grubby. Not that I'm complaining - HAH! Ok, time to look for the positives:

• only the foyer, 2 bathrooms and basement steps left to "refloor", then the painting can begin
• only 2 weeks of school left, then 2 weeks of holidays (trying NOT to think of the UNPAID day our lovely schoolboard is giving us (yes an extra day of holidays!! Who needs that day of pay anyways...right before Christmas...with all the extra bills and expenses...
• taking a mini-holiday with Kazi to see Les Mis in Toronto :) (will NOT think about the money spent...will ONLY think about the great time we'll have!!!)
• at lease I don't have to deal with fir tree needles everywhere this year...I wonder if we still have the fake tree in the basement somewhere - will have to go exploring again!
• I feel healthy again though have a bunch of tests to complete for my physical and I have to start taking iron supplements as my iron is low (I don't eat much meat) so perhaps that will help with my feeling tired most of the time

Okay, time to wrap it up. I'm going on safari as my cup of coffee is cold and I'm going to try and find the microwave!

Keep warm!

The Love of my Life

 You'all know who this is...right? Well, I betcha didn't know that Bart is THE most excellent teaching aide a spec ed teacher could have. Confused? No doubt, but in my shoes we have to think outside the box once in a while pretty much all day every day.

In September I met a new student named Amanda. Amanda had come for several transition visits in the previous April, May and June which seemed to go well. But mom was really nervous about the transition from elementary to secondary school. I am well used to that - most parents are more anxious than their kids. Especially when those kids have special needs.

Well, the first day of highschool arrived and we began to understand why mom was anxious. Amanda refused to eat, refused to engage, refused to NOT SCREAM BLOODY MURDER, refused to do just about anything. Hmmmmm  We tried all of our usual strategies - no go.  The educational assistant, new to my school tried every trick in the book and I mean everything. I could find NO fault with anything she was doing.

 So, we enlisted the help of Bart. I found Bart, years ago, stuffed in a box in the school basement. I had a student with autism who liked the Simpsons so I brought Bart to my classroom but the student wasn't interested, in fact, he didn't even want to look at Bart so he sat untouched in my office for several years. I brought Bart out and soon Amanda was carrying him everywhere. She still screamed, she was still stubborn and she still wouldn't eat. BUT, she had found something she liked and she dragged Bart with her everywhere.

I thought let's set Bart up doing the things we want Amanda to do - like sit at the table and eat her food, sit in her rocking chair and listen to a story on tape....

 sort "eggs" into an egg carton...

 spell her name...

 play games on her iPad...

deliver mail to the teachers' mailboxes....

Oh look!! Bart's in my mailbox :) I love his sheepish grin!

Bart became indispensable, working with Amanda on all of her tasks. Whatever Bart would do, Amanda would do.

 Here's Bart using Amanda's specially adapted computer - he looks like a real pro!

Fit dominoes through a small slot? No problem - Bart makes it look easy!

Oh no.....not the pennies again! BORING!! Don't they know we don't even use the penny anymore in Canada...DUH!!

 Oh, alright - if it makes you happy I'll do it - keep your shirt on!

Ohhhhh, that's the way you do it...easy peasy!

Shredding?? - it's a no-brainer!!

Bart is now a full-fledged member of our classroom. He goes everywhere with Amanda. There is no more screaming, she eats her snacks and her lunch with no issues and has pushed beyond all previous skill levels. Amanda doesn't speak except for a few sounds, signs and gestures but her eyes speak volumes and her laughter fills the room with joy. We are giggle buddies. She'll come over to my desk, lean in and whisper "ho ho" at which point I give my heartiest Santa laugh which sends her into fits of laughter. Yes, she has learned how to "prompt" the prompter!

Leaning in close for a barely audible "ho ho" - Amanda - we love you so much!

Fa la la la la the First Box is Here!

 The first delivery of Christmas presents has arrived!! I tried something different this year. I have ordered all of my gifts from The Hudson's Bay Company (The Bay) ONLINE!! I've never done this before. Oh, I've ordered the odd gift from a particular company before, but I've never sat down with a list and systematically ordered gifts for everyone on my list. I must admit, I feel euphoric!

Adding to my euphoria is the fact that every single item was ON SALE!! AND I got FREE SHIPPING!! Yowsa! (Yes, some of us still use that word!) The quality is excellent and most items made in Canada. I just placed my order on Saturday from the comfort of my recliner, pot of tea close to hand and most of the gifts arrived today. Still a few left to arrive.

I am not a "mall" kind of gal. Last time I was in a mall was....I don't know....maybe last Christmas? I have a thrift store close to hand so when I need a blue top to go with a certain pair of pants then off I go to Talize where for $5 or $7 I can get just what I need. I am so well stocked with clothing I probably won't have to buy a thing for about 10 years once I retire other than underwear and socks. Unless I grow larger...or hopefully smaller...

But...I digress.

A mall experience for me consists of wandering aimlessly, bumping into people while feeling like I am under water, a dull roar in my ears, vision blurred by shiny sparkly things that all call out simultaneously BUY ME BUY ME and I ALWAYS overspend, and think "just one more gift, just one more gift" and I forgot what I've bought already, I get overheated, overwhelmed, feel cheap one moment and then poor the next...ARGGGGHHHHH! I hate it!

I think I'm onto something :)

Do you like shopping in a mall full of desperate people??

Dear Anon - You Really Made my DAY!!

Three days ago I received a comment from Anon......

"Well, I know my comment is not apropos of your post today ... however I thought it wouldn't hurt to leave it anyways! :)
I recently had some extra (forced) time off my feet which gave me extra blog reading time. While I was an occasional reader of your blog, and certainly missed your posts on the one or two occasions where you had taken a few months' break from writing, I can now say that with my extra time I found myself reading every post of your blog, all the way back to its inception!
Jane, I must say, (hopefully without sounding like a weirdo) that you seem like an awesome person that would be cool to know in real life. Your empathy towards your students despite all the obvious stressors of the job really shines through. Your down-to-earth, no pretentiousness is pretty cool too. (Here's a blast from your blog's past ... I loved the post where you proudly modeled the cardigan sweater than you found on the ground in your parking lot). A very important lesson I am learning from your blog is to "get out there, be open to things, and experience life". Whether this has always been your personality, or was something that was cultivated in recent years by your very own live-in life coach, it's something that leaps off the screen. 
Again, I know it's weird for me to just leave a comment like this out of the blue without it being triggered by a specific post, but I thought it may be a nice thing for you to hear that someone out in cyberspace really has enjoyed your writing."

First of all Anon,  just knowing you have taken the time to read all of my posts, some 727 entries, blows me away. And, it fills me with gratitude that you have let me know this. Right now, if no one ever reads another of my posts I will still be a very happy person.

One thing I know about myself for sure is that I don't have a pretentious bone in my body. (I hope that didn't sound pretentious lol!) I'm a simple girl who enjoys a simple life. Well, it's not so simple right now but that is the goal for when I retire.

The past few days have been really stressful so your uplifting comment couldn't have come at a better time. I had my final "teacher evaluation" yesterday - that's when a VP comes into my classroom and watches every single thing I do and say. Even though I am a seasoned veteran it was still very stressful and I barely slept the night before. About 2 hours later my vision started to get ripply which is a sign of an oncoming migraine so I went home and spent the next 18 hours in bed. Today I felt pretty good so off to work I went and my GIANT young man had a rough day injuring one of my staff. She went to urgent care and my young man went home. See? Not so simple at present.

But in a few more months (208 days:) I will be moving to a slower-paced part of the world where the biggest decision of the day will be sunny side up or sunny side down!

Thank you again Anon, for taking the time to let me know you've enjoyed my writing! That means SO much to me, it really does.